When Mothers Are Enslaved...

I just read that the Stupak amendment is even stupider than I thought. There was already a really good, balanced amendment, the Capps amendment, which proposes that the government ensure that all patients have access to at least one plan that covers abortion and services and one that does not. Anything less amounts to state establishment of religion.

This is not self-government. This is nothing but polarized party politics. Parties are not in the Constitution; when will the Supreme Court just uphold a prohibition?

And this is not about life, it is about domination. About men, some of whom cannot stand to not dominate women, to just be co-operative. Men like women to respect them; respecting women, mothers, and children is the best way to get there.

ACORN Fights For Equal Treatment

Democracy Now reported today that ACORN is suing the U.S. government on the grounds that singling out one organization for special treatment, whether favorable or punitive, is unconstitutional on several counts.

Dec. 7, 2009 update:

Darcy Burner recently said on C-SPAN that there had been a small problem with the legislation defunding ACORN for fraud, namely that almost all defense contractors would also have been similarly affected.

Update on Rightwing Persecution of ACORN

At the very end of an op-ed piece posing as journalism, I learned that the cowardly Congressional ban on federal funding for ACORN expires on December 18.

The ax-grinding that precedes this lone piece of information contains a number of accusations about ACORN's radical advocacy for extremist groups such as a Working Families Party that advocates for living-wage jobs. Although somebody thinks I should be very afraid of advocacy for working families and voter registration for poor folks, I don't get why ACORN's victimization by internal embezzlement means that registering poor people as voters is bad.

Similarly, allegations - that minor instances of registration inflation by a handful of young staffers among thousands nationwide constitute voter fraud that is anywhere near as momentous as what we witnessed in Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004 - are apparently more examples of straining at gnats while swallowing elephants, since these claims seem to be more related to party affiliation than anything.

Other allegations that ACORN is connected with violations of campaign funding cite a source that doesn't clearly support the allegations, at least for this reader. But that hasn't stopped fishing expeditions by investigators.

Don't Republicans and so-called conservatives have anything constructive to do with their time? There are a lot of real problems, such as homelessness and nuclear weapons that are far more hazardous to the health of our nation than a grassroots community organization that focuses on voter registration and financial literacy.

Truth: Evolution or Creationism?

The truth is that this teapot tempest is an effective way for creationists to distract attention from a far more important discussion, namely, about practicing the key moral precepts that make Christ a guy worth listening to, such as the golden rule, or judging ourselves rather than others.

I'm sure there are also advocates of the theory of evolution who would benefit from some consideration of ethics and civility, as suggested by Professor David Sloan Wilson.

He expressed heartfelt sympathy for those "fighting for the middle ground." It seems to me that one very important weapon in this fight is an awareness of the emotional tone of a discussion. Naming it, particularly when a fervent advocate believes that making his opponent wrong will make him right, is also essential.

Fighting one's own prejudices and habitual perceptions - the most challenging kind of jihad - is a far sharper weapon for cutting away falsity than is any fight against another person or idea.

Clueless on Wall Street

This morning in USA Today, Charles Elson, director of the Weinberg Center for Corporate Governance at the University of Delaware is quoted as saying, "It's true that salaries are out of control, but this is not the right approach - politics and business do not mix."
Does this mean the end of corporate lobbying and massive political contributions to the politicians that toady to corporate CEOs and their profiteering agendas? Don't hold your breath.

Do Parents Believe Their Own Bullshit?

I read in the paper this morning some news about lying. According to a newly-released study, most parents want kids to do as they say, not as they do, when it comes to not saying what they think.

I, unlike most kids, was raised by parents who generally said what they thought, and what they meant. They expected me to do what they said, and they followed these prescriptions themselves. But that doesn't mean they told me that Santa or the Easter Bunny didn't exist before I had noticed on my own.

Not all lies are created equal. Some, such as great novels, express deeper truths about human emotions, about human nature. And others can be transformed into truth with a little editing. For example, a parent said, "Lying is for bad people and witches; good people and fairies never tell lies." It would be more accurate to say that lying can make people feel bad and even mean, while telling the truth in a fair-minded and cooperative way can make everyone feel good, even if it seems like only a perfect fairy can achieve this.

So it's very important to understand all the key kinds of lies, and the reasons for them, good, bad or forgivable. Lies of commission are usually judged worse than lies of omission. But often people lie because they don't know how to tell the truth in a kind, gentle, simple way. It can be uncomfortable to say things we think will be unwelcome, but with a little guidance and practice it's possible to remind yourself: "Don't Be Nice, Be Real."

The kind of nice we really don't need is telling white lies about things that aren't that important. Or flattery. Or advertising, which leads to telling lies to make money. Eventually, lying too much can lead to losing track of the truth.

Lying will continue to be a subject of moral and philosophical inquiry. It's worth noting that the government can only lie to us be means of individuals who choose to hide the truth and betray the transparency that democracy requires.

Of course, the most devious and stubborn untruths are the ones we believe in all conscious honesty.

Straining at Gnats... and ACORNs

Republicans' vendetta against ACORN for registering poor people to vote proves beyond any doubt that they are not the fiscally responsible party they pretend to be.

They continue to harass ACORN, which was apparently the victim of a private political sting operation, after reluctantly pretending to investigate Diebold and related scams in 2004, not to mention companies like KBR and Halliburton that have been stealing $billions of taxpayer money in Iraq with contract fraud and featherbedding - Republicans are straining at gnats and swallowing camels.

I am also wondering if the Republicans put something in the water in the House, which is supposedly controlled by Democrats who, unbelievably, joined Republicans in voting to pull ACORN's funding and instead waste the money investigating them. For Sacramento, this means less assistance for hapless homeowners facing foreclosure and fraud. Gee thanks.

This is not the first time Democrats have allowed Republican hissy fits to derail due diligence and the greatest good for the greatest number. When wingnuts act out, that's a good time to sit back and make sure you have all the information you need to actually understand the whole situation. It turns out that the undercover movie producer and accomplice are elite young Republicans who will never have to worry about foreclosure happening to them. And it turns out they visited a third of ACORN offices nationwide, and were at times so pushy ACORN staff had to call the cops. I wonder who paid for all their equipment and expenses?

I think the real agenda here is to get ACORN out of the 2010 census, so more poor people can be missed. Republicans have "trust issues." I'll say they do; you can trust them - and Democrats - to care more about power than people.

Republican Health Care Whores

Yesterday on C-SPAN I listened in to a North Carolina town hall revival meeting where Rep. McSomebody revealed himself as being in the health insurance companies' pocket. On key points of misinformation, such as the Palin-manufactured death panels and the spin that our health care is better than Europe's and Canada's, he resolutely agreed with constituents' cranky delusions and general ranting, rather then speaking the truth.

Even more interesting was a wrinkle, new to me, about health care choice being construed as a new right for health insurance corporations to sell insurance across state lines, to people hundreds of miles away who would have even less practical recourse than at present if they got screwed. The mantra of individual choice and competition was invoked numerous times to sell an approach which gives insurance companies all the power to divide and conquer. And we all know that competition will increase choice and lower prices, right?

There were a few voices in the wilderness, people who had come to say they wanted single-payer, or a public option, and generally would appreciate the government sticking up for them in the face of companies who don't hesitate to kick people's policies to the curb just when they are most necessary. Mostly these people were health care workers and sick people. But they got little sympathy from Rep. McWhatever, who is as skilled as most politicians in answering the question he wants to hear rather than the one that's actually been posed.

No Republican who gets lots of contributions from for-profit health insurance corporations and his marching orders from the chamber of commerce is going to admit that when competition is for money, for-profit businesses just want your money.

If we want competition for actual health care and wellness, we won't be getting it from insurance companies' gigolos.

Giant Log in Birthers' Eyes

True-blue Amurricans who see specks in Obama's birthright are overlooking some giant blots in our own.

Assuming that what I learned in school was not a Communist plot, the whole concept of birth certificates was imported to this continent, along with too many Europeans, for the very dubious benefit of the pre-existing population.

So before more people complain that Obama may not have the right to be president, I think we should carefully consider our own right to be here at all.

Gates-gate: Are Cops & Blacks On The Same Planet?

One of the most disturbing things about Sergeant James Crowley is that he has been teaching other cops about racial profiling for five years. Is he teaching them that law enforcement means never having to say you are sorry? And as Wayne Martin asked, "When did it become illegal to be angry at a law enforcement official?"

I would like to know how much anger one can express verbally before being arrested for disorderly conduct or resisting arrest. Like world-famous professors and presidents, cops are accustomed to being heeded. But if they really want to be peace officers, they can't be thinking that gentleness is weakness.

New York State Senator Eric Adams, a retired police captain, seems to understand that law enforcement does mean having to say you are sorry. Constables on patrol regularly confront people to verify that someone is not up to no good. And when it turns out they have accosted law-abiding citizens inaccurately, courtesy suggests that one apologize for the intrusion when it turns out to have been fortunately unnecessary.

So who should apologize? Professor Gates? Probably not, but I'd have to know more about the exact events. Sgt. Crowley? Only if he wants to keep teaching. President Obama? Definitely not. I agree that Sgt. Crowley acted like his prefrontal cortex was on vacation. I'd also like to know what Miss Manners thinks.

We need nonviolent law enforcement. While this may seem like an oxymoron, Gandhi found that his most dependable nonviolent supporters were the Sikh warriors, who were accustomed to confronting physical force. It is possible to use physical force in a nonviolent way, just as it is possible to be violent in ways that are verbal, economic, emotional, etc.

It may not always be simple or easy, but isn't that why we pay cops the big bucks? If they don't have the spiritual stamina to say they are wrong when they are wrong, then they are in the wrong line of work.

Terrorist Deputies

Recently I tuned in to a rerun of the July 14 Board of Supervisors meeting wherein Sheriff McGinness and chorus offered some well-rehearsed propaganda designed to save some deputies' jobs. Apparently somehow someone in the Sheriff's department had miscalculated, and the budget allocation decided in June meant that the Sheriff would have to lay off 70 more deputies than originally believed. So Agenda Item 64 was McGinness, back to ask for more money for these deputies.

McGinness presented an explanation that I found confusing, in part because I understand numbers much much better when they are written down. But after reading his staff report later on, I still felt at least as unclear as most of the supervisors seemed to. Although professing trust and confidence in the Sheriff, this substantial error clearly disturbed them. Several supervisors expressed concern about having incomplete financial information pertaining to this proposed change.

Personally, I would have thought that information about current crime rates and trends would also be relevant, but apparently no one else missed it.

McGinness also stressed that public safety deserves more money because everyone benefits from deputies' work, unlike those special interests like social services that only benefit some people. (But I thought that deputies only patrolled the unincorporated areas, whereas health and welfare spending is county-wide. Go figure.)

In any event, after McGinness had finished his handwaving, the supervisors heard comments from many members of the public who had been assembled and apparently briefed by the Sheriff's PR department, to "give the public a voice." We heard from a number of deputies, past, present and future, as well as their friends and families, who all described a variety of terrible things that would doubtless happen if the extra 70 layoffs were to occur.

Property values will "plummet," all the "monsters" out there, such as sex offenders, parolees, and tent-city "transients" will be preying on Sacramento's most vulnerable citizens. People will buy guns to protect themselves. These layoffs will make the force less representative of the community because young ethnic deputies will go first. More deputies will die because they will be spread too thin. More citizens will die because deputies will be spread too thin and emergency response times will be compromised. Search and rescue operations for lost old folks with Alzheimer's will be gone. Business investment in the community will be diverted to Nevada and Sacramento will be irreparably blighted. Many of these themes were echoed by multiple speakers.

Enthusiastic applause followed each touching expression of concern, despite Chairwoman Susan Peters' request to the audience to refrain, as applause takes time and was also causing some audio feedback. Although such esprit de corps may be good for morale, disrespect towards local leadership calls into question their respect for others who have no authority.

Deputies claimed no special interest of their own, only that they want to protect and serve. They are heartbroken that some of the comrades will fall by the wayside, but down by the budget ax. One guy even compared their pain to the death march on Bataan in World War II. Who knew cops were so emo?

Several solutions were also suggested by many commenters, such as diverting money from the golf course or the airport construction. Unfortunately, none of the suggestions were feasible, as County Executive Terry Schutten explained at Chairwoman Peters' request. Nonetheless, subsequent commenters failed to edit these ideas out of their scripts. After almost two hours, all those who had signed up to speak were heard and applauded.

The bottom line? Be afraid. Be very afraid. That is their message.

After a short discussion, the supervisors asked Schutten to review the June version of the budget and report back on July 28 at 3:30 pm as to what it would take to find another $10 million for these 70 at-risk deputies.

As soon as supervisors seemed to be coming around, McGinness started emphasizing his department's ability to "do a great deal with minimal resources." Still, Supervisor Dickinson did caution him that basic human needs like adequate food are also be defined as safety bysome members of the public, and that the state may yet again raid local funds.

Mulling over all the emoting I heard, and the facts I didn't hear, I can't help wondering about the quality of their criminal investigations. Mysteries and crimes are far more likely to be resolved through dispassionate rational analysis than through the kind of self-serving sentimentality I saw. And if they can't even keep track of their own personnel budget, how well are they keeping track of evidence and other minor details?

Anyway, if you would like to "have a voice" and share your opinion about the balance between public health and public safety with the supervisors, you have until July 28.

Breast-Feeding Under the Influence

According to police, Stacey Anvarinia's recent arrest for breast-feeding was not just because she was drunk, although the other reasons were not reported. Perhaps the nerve-wracking sight of a woman breastfeeding while being investigated is the reason they forgot to actually test her. I am wondering what the cops were under the influence of.

I don't think they were under the influence of concern for babies, otherwise they would be out arresting the management of Nestle's, a corporation which has done more than anyone to malnourish infants by pushing the substandard nutrition of formula onto naive and trusting mothers worldwide. Not to mention the industrial corporations that are responsible for mothers' milk containing trace amounts of various toxic chemicals.

They would be going after bosses who make it hard for women to breastfeed naturally, instead of early weaning or tiresome pumping which really just isn't as nurturing for anyone.

They might even look into the classism of our educational system, whereby poor kids are preselected for failure in underfunded, unsafe and boring schools. Or they could stick up for the rights of all children to be raised with emotional and economic security.

But there's no point in working themselves out of their jobs, after all.

In Memoriam

I've been catching up on what Michael Jackson is all about. I guess I've led a sheltered life, because I didn't even know what the moonwalk was. (Too bad he never met Marcel Marceau.)

His videos offer some insights, like Beat It, a phrase that means both fight and flight, a wonderful paradox given that it's about gangs, kind of like West Side Story. Opponents grasp hands and pull knives at the same time, just as we are always tied to what we resist. It reminded me of a former lover, who wanted me to tie his hands to the bed. I found a similar solution - I tied one of his and one of mine.

But Smooth Criminal ain't smooth, he's scandalous. And Scream totally says how I feel about Harleys and leafblowers.

Michael doesn't care if you're Black or White, which I appreciate. But I have to confess I have trouble understanding all the lyrics, so hopefully he was good enough to explain everything visually too. So I don't know really if Michael cared if he was black or white. I'm not sure he cared if he was male or female, either. As he became whiter, he looked more and more femme.

It's clear that his affinity with, and affection for, children was part of his nature. Children love to play. And the younger they are, the less they care if you are rich and famous. Plus which, the psychic pressure of being that rich and famous must have made kids' indifference to it seem so, so gentle and playful to him.

A lot of people are mourning more than I would have thought. And it's too bad he's gone, though it's easy to think he wasn't having that much fun anymore. No wonder his poor heart gave out. It's so, so sad that friendly touch has become suspected of sex and exploitation. Throwing that baby out with the bathwater is an ongoing social tragedy.

And yes, he did make me cry.

The Co-Opting of a President

     I hope President Obama has noticed Kevin Baker's article listing the ways he has broken campaign promises, because he really should think about what he is doing. While I am sure he is thinking, and carefully, about his decisions, I have also noticed too much continuity with the previous administration's perspective on secrecy, economics and military action.

     Moreover, the Democrat party needs to also read and ponder this article; ideally, they would have an epiphany and maybe even turn back into the Democratic party.

     Last night on C-SPAN, I happened to see Obama and former President Clinton speak at a Democratic Leadership Council event. (When did everyone else forget that there's only one POTUS at a time?) Anyway, Obama told some funny in-jokes, roasting various political players, and then Clinton talked about how wonderful the DLC has been for getting Democrats elected.

     While this may be true, it's less clear that the DLC is actually that wonderful for a lot of ordinary Democratic voters. Moving the party to the center may get more centrists elected, but thinking that populism is obsolete or that the grassroots activists don't matter leaves the party without a vision. Democratic leadership needs to listen to leftist prophets like John Todd or Noam Chomsky, because if they don't they'll just end up being anti-Republicans rather than pro-progressive.

     But, while Obama seems to be following the same split-the-difference political navigation that the DLC pushes, most Congressional Democrats are just as frozen in the headlights. 

     So we still have far more government secrecy than in 2000, part of a trajectory that really got going in WWI. Meanwhile, we see glacial progress on getting out of Iraq, and plans to beef up the war on Afghanis, both a poor way to win hearts and minds. If Pakistanis are outraged by a video of Taliban vigilantes terrorizing women who show a shred of independence, how can anyone imagine that videos of collateral damage by our soldiers and mercenaries will get us anywhere? Our mercenaries should be cashiered, the National Guard should return home, and the soldiers should be transferred to another service.

     The veteran Wall-Streeters in charge of economic policy still think that financial institutions, rather than the ordinary livelihoods of ordinary people, are what keeps the economy going, . There can be no other explanation for the fact that none of the banks that received bailout money are willing to reduce the principal on any of the unsustainable loans they have on their books. They would rather use the bailout money to pay for all the costs of eviction, repossession, maintenance and insurance on an empty house, and then the cost to resell the house for a lower price, when they could have just reduced the price for the original homeowner who is now probably homeless. 

     The financial pyramid is built on the livelihoods of ordinary people, and allowing ordinary lives to crumble strengthens nothing. Will Obama and Congress manage to think outside the box? 

     Baker's article concludes by noting that "all of Obama's major proposals ... are labyrinthine solutions designed mainly to avoid conflict." Marginal changes will likely not suffice. "Obama will have to directly attack the fortified bastions of the newest  "new class" - the makers of the paper economy in which he came of age - if he is to accomplish anything. These interests did not spend 50 years shipping the greatest industrial economy in the history of the world overseas only to be challenged by a newly empowered, green-economy working class. They did not spend much of the past two decades gobbling up previously public sectors such as health care, education, and transportation only to have to compete with a reinvigorated public sector. They mean, even now, to use the bailout to make the government their helpless junior partner, and if they can they will devour every federal dollar available to recoup their own losses, and thereby preclude the use of any monies for the rest of Barack Obama's splendid vision."

Iranian Democracy Puts Us To Shame

     The massive peaceful resistance by the Iranian people to apparent election fraud offers U.S. citizens a perfect example of how to protest election fraud and corruption. If only enough of us had been capable of that kind of free and independent thought and action in November 2000.

     While some believe the Republicans didn't cheat, a number of researchers, such as David Moore, Bev Harris, and a number of law professors who regard the election as far from definitive.

State Budget Reality Check

     Like me, you have probably been getting lots of news about the budget crisis, and hearing all kinds of lamentations about cuts that will allow crime to run rampant, leave disabled people alone to die, and double classroom sizes.

     You may have also shared my frustration with the complete lack of financial perspective accompanying these terrifying prophecies of disaster.

     Recently, I attended a panel discussion where several policy wonks shared new revenue ideas. During the Q&A, I expressed my feelings about the total lack of perspective offered by anyone. Another attendee referred me to the State Controller, and indeed I found on their website the unsung foundation of the discussion. A few calculations allowed me to finally feel like I have my conceptual feed on the ground.

     For starters, actual state operations are only a little more than 1/4 of the budget, and CDCR is the biggest portion, over 1/3 of 1/4, or 1/11 of the total state spending in the 2008-9 fiscal year to date. Debt service is just under 4% of total spending, and UC+CSU are just over 6% of total spending. Are we spending more on prisons than higher education? The community college portion is accounted in the local assistance part of the operating results, and is just over 4% of total expenditures, so that looks like the state spends just 1% more on higher education. (Of course, counties spend a chunk on jails and courts.)

     But state spending to assist local operations is almost 3/4, dwarfing spending on state operations. And spending on K-12 operations is 1/3 of the total budget and 4/9 of local assistance. State spending on "medical assistance" is 1/8 of the total budget. Social services are between 1/8 and 1/9 of total spending, over 4/5 of which is local assistance.

     Newsflash! State worker salaries are not the place to go for serious savings. Combining agencies is like moving the deck chairs around on the Titanic. $24 billion is 1/4 of annual state spending. And if there is fat and wasteful spending to cut, 3/4 of it will be local assistance.

To recap, the big expense categories are, in order:

     33% local assistance for K-12

     12.5% local assistance for health care

     9% prisons

     5% SSI etc.

     4% community colleges

     3.9% interest on state debts

     3% each UC & CSU

     3% on CalWORKs

     The immediate question is how to deflate state spending to match state revenues. Perhaps we can keep K-12 class sizes manageable by cutting middle management positions and drafting laid-off Californians who are collecting unemployment and CalPERS retirees as volunteer replacements. 

     Perhaps we can reduce health care needs by switching to a 20-hour work week, which will double the number of jobs and give everyone time to live in a healthy way, with healthy family dinners, plenty of sleep, and plenty of exercise in the garden and on sidewalks and bicycles. 

     And we could even start paying attention to academia's evidence-based solutions to prison spending which is probably growing faster than any other category.

Emotional Extortion Holiday

     As usual, Memorial Day brought out the same old guilt trip about honoring our brave soldiers, even though our wars are generally invasive rather than defensive. Meanwhile, more soldiers are committing suicide and fewer are being killed by suicide bombers. According to the Washington Post, "Many soldiers are now in the midst of their third of fourth combat tour, and Army surveys show that mental health deteriorates with each one."

     The fact that our invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq have required our soldiers to kill far more women and children than alleged terrorists, with no sure end in sight, isn't helping their mental health any.

     If we really respected our soldiers' honor, we wouldn't be wasting them like this. We would be reserving their strength and service for a time when it will really matter, such as when we are actually attacked by another nation.

     Apparently one of the people responsible, if not accountable, for these and other betrayals of democracy and international law, has been raising obscene amounts of money for his presidential library. I suspect more victims of emotional extortion have been scammed.

     But more to the point would be a vice-presidential library, for all of Cheney's secret papers and subversive Constitutional sabotage. And I have the perfect location for it, a very secure facility which will soon be available: Guantanamo!

Be The Tortoise & Win Life's Race

     It turns out that the race goes to those who can wait, according to Jonah Lehrer in the New Yorker. Based on research with roots in the 1960s, kids who can figure out how to postpone one treat in order to get two usually grow up to be more adept in school and in life. 

     The ability to control one's choices and actions, to choose to delay gratification for a better long-term outcome, helps tortoises think ahead and plan their futures. 

     It also turns out that poor kids tend to have more trouble waiting. Fortunately, it also turns out that many kids who are hares for treats can learn the self-control strategies that are instinctively used by natural tortoises. So there's no reason to think that poverty is hereditary; rather, poor people don't have many gratifications that they can practice delaying.

     Basically, all you have to do is control what you are thinking about, what you are paying attention to. Meditation is perhaps the oldest and best practice for paying attention. While it may or may not raise your IQ, it can help you use your head. And meditation usually improves your emotional intelligence too!

     But I can't help noticing that we live in a culture where we are constantly extorted by advertising to act like hares, to work and earn more, to buy and consume more and more junk products, to worry about winning the image race, instead of just being ourselves and being good for ourselves. 

     If you can't be good enough for yourself, you'll never win your own race or your own life.

Sinful Marriage

     The crusade against David Thompson, who may or may not still be the pastor of Westeminster Presbyterian Church, makes me wonder why gays want to participate in any club that includes the sort of selfish and intolerant people who want to monopolize marriage.

     According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the definition of marriage was expanded several centuries ago to describe the integration of two entities which were not even human, let alone hetero. So that horse has escaped the barn and died long since.

     Perhaps it's just my personal preference to simply go away and not play with people who are mean.

Whose Vengeance?

Reportedly, Obama recently declined to pursue criminal cases against Bush administration decision-makers whose actions violated the international laws of war, saying that "retribution" is not productive.

If we have no avenue of justice for these criminals other than retribution, that means that our system of criminal justice has no other avenue than retribution, which is another word for vengeance. But twice in New Testament epistles, the Bible recommends karma instead, saying "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto God's wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."

It's interesting that karma is here framed as "repayment." Classical economic theory defines transactions as consensual, so "repayment" suggests a restorative justice process where all parties converse and come to mutual agreement.